00:14 | Jason van Genderen (Interviewer)

Tell us a little bit about George. I'd love to build a bit of a picture of what George is like.

00:19 | Margaret

A real character. He has the worst sense of humour and tells the most inappropriate jokes. He thrives on being with people and isn't good just being on his own.

Spent his life in selling and that's who he is. He wants to be with people, talk to people, and loves being around others. He's a very social person.

00:44 | Jason van Genderen (Interviewer)

When did Alzheimer's set in, and how did it change your relationship?

00:48 | Margaret

He was officially diagnosed in 2019, but it happened quite slowly initially. He was just forgetting things and repeating things. Then it gradually got worse and worse.

To be honest, it really changed our relationship because I became totally a carer, which I didn't really want to be.

01:10 | Megan van Genderen (Interviewer)

Was George aware of the diagnosis and the symptoms of dementia? How aware was he of it?

01:17 | Margaret

He knew he had dementia, but I don't think he realised how much it was impacting his life.

01:24 | Jason van Genderen (Interviewer)

So, mag what, what was this like for you? You, you said before you had a spinal injury, so you were never getting your own physical health problems.

You're dealing mentally with this difference, between you and your lifelong partner and then having to take the step of organizing that next step of care for him. Like where do you, where do you figure all that out?

01:44 | Margaret

Oh, it was terrible. It really, really was.

It was such an emotional roller coaster, thinking it was the right thing to do, and then wondering, "How can I do it?"

All he wants is to be here with me. How can I not allow that to happen?

02:02 | Megan van Genderen (Interviewer)

And so you were mentioning the team at Glenmore Park. Can you describe some of their qualities?

02:09 | Margaret

They're just really caring, and it's genuine care. It's, and they're very, they care about me as well.

When I walk in, it's, "Hello Margaret, how are you?" It's more than just a greeting.

They've seen me in tears regularly. They've given me hugs. They've reassured me. They've talked to me about looking after myself.

They tell me about the good times George has had. I'll arrive and they'll say, "Oh, George was singing this morning."

It's the little things, like calling him by name.

When he first went to Glenmore Park, I remember saying to Trisha, the manager, that I should get him some jogging pants and comfortable clothes to make things easier.

She asked me, "Does he normally wear those?"

I said, "No. He wears button-up shirts, trousers, and a belt."

She said, "Well, then that's what he'll wear. That's him."

Everyone treats him that way. He's George, a unique person. He's not a resident or a patient. He's George.

That makes me feel better, and I know it makes him feel better too.

03:25 | Jason van Genderen (Interviewer)

It sounds like you've built a really great relationship with the team. What's your relationship with George like now?

03:32 | Margaret

It's much better. I'm much more patient, and I recognise that he'll still ask me the same thing. We'll have cyclical conversations.

It'll only be a moment, and he'll ask the same question again, but I'm able to be patient because I'm not carrying the full weight of caring for him all the time.

That's made me feel much more like his wife again and less like his carer.

I think transitioning away from that, because you still try to be the carer for a while. The guilt is still there for me, but it's less now. I just have to accept that this is how it is.

But yes, I can see lots of positive things.

04:21 | Jason van Genderen (Interviewer)

It sounds like this is a huge process of love that continues to change and grow. It's something you can never really prepare for at this stage of life, but you have to adapt.

04:35 | Margaret

I think that's true. Someone once said to me, "The more you love someone, the harder it is."

I can see in the stages I've gone through. Yeah. As well now. Yeah. And I can see, you know, how irrit flows with other people initially, and the whole grief, you know, that it's grief.

It's about coming to terms with everything.

But the team, and the fact that it feels like a community, have helped me so much on this journey.

05:03 | Jason van Genderen (Interviewer)

Absolutely. Margaret, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Lots of love to you and George.

I think your journey can help a lot of families and couples facing similar situations, especially when everything is becoming too much.

05:19 | Margaret

Yeah. Yeah. I think talking to other people has helped me. Every journey is different, but it's reassuring to know that other people struggle too.

It's not an easy path. And thank you for the lovely cake.

Megan van Genderen (Interviewer)

Anytime. Anytime.

Moving a partner into residential aged care can be an emotional and challenging transition, particularly when one partner has been the primary carer. As Margaret shares in The Relationship Reset, professional support helped ease the daily demands of caregiving, allowing her to focus more on being George's wife rather than his full-time carer. This shift strengthened their connection, improved patience and created more meaningful time together.

Feelings of guilt are common when considering or making the move to residential aged care. Many carers question whether they are doing the right thing and struggle with the idea of no longer providing all aspects of care themselves. Margaret describes the decision as an emotional roller coaster, balancing her husband's needs, her own health, and the reality that professional care could provide the support neither of them could manage alone. Over time, she found that accepting support helped both her and George enjoy a better quality of life.

Families should look for a team that provides genuine, person-centred care and takes the time to understand each resident as an individual. In Margaret's experience, the aged care team recognised George's personality, preferences and routines, ensuring he remained himself rather than being defined by his diagnosis. She also valued the way staff supported her as a family member, offering reassurance, empathy and regular updates about George's wellbeing.

Yes. Professional dementia care can provide specialist support, social engagement and tailored daily care, while reducing the physical and emotional burden on family carers. For Margaret, knowing George was cared for by a compassionate team gave her peace of mind and allowed her to approach their visits with greater patience and enjoyment. The result was a more positive relationship and a stronger sense of connection.

Adjusting to residential aged care is a journey that often involves grief, acceptance and ongoing change. Margaret found comfort in connecting with a supportive care team, talking openly about her feelings and recognising that many families face similar challenges. Building relationships within the aged care community and accepting support can help families navigate the transition while maintaining meaningful connections with their loved ones.